I was speeding down a hill in a car with no driver. Here's the catch, I was in the passenger seat and no one was driving - or at least no one I could see. I looked ahead and saw a that we were careening toward a stoplight, but we safely sped right through. Once through the dangerous intersection I woke up.
Now there are a million ways anyone could read into this, but the more I looked into the symbolism the more I realized that my life right now is about control. This dream is about control. My anxieties and fears are about control. There was a reason that I was buckles safely in the passenger seat, unable to reach the steering wheel or pedals - I'm not in control. There I said it.
The good news of this dream, upon reflection is just that. I am not in control. It's not dependent on me. Then on my very awake and alert drive this morning I heard a song by Tenth Avenue North that helped me to understand who I am and who I am not. What my responsibility and accountability is and what I need to trust is in God's hands and His leading grace.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
What a word of grace!
Then as I re-read pieces of "Sleeping with Bread" I encountered another moment of God speaking to me in this time of transition and prayerfulness.
"Once we know who we are, we also know who we are not."
We cannot be all things to all people. God created each of us unique and with gifts. The best we can do is to be ourselves and use those gifts for his glory. And so I will continue to seek His guidance and voice in all things.
Amen.
